i'm signing you up for texting rehab
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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