If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
