We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
