When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
