woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
