i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize