we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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