I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize