whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
