At least make sure they are 18
Why
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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