isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize