similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize