My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
