she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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