I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
