I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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