He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
