He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
