btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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