I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
it's great music for shaving your balls
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
