you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
