His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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