I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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