This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
