question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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