shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
