Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
