I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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