My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i permit you to call me
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
