I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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