i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
