I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
