last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
