Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
