he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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