he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
