u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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