Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
