Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
