i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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