Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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