i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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