yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
