i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
