woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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