Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
