You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Randomize
