My hair reeks of homosexuality.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
