heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
