Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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