If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize