So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
