Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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