i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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