Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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