So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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