Come see our sink grown plant.
I checked into jail on foursquare
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
